early bird gets the ... tight ass?

i'll be the first one to admit that i'm a big talker.

i'm part of the club (i'm sure there are a ton of us), who plan out everything the night before, including waking up at 7 to go running, eat a healthy breakfast and get my whole to do list done before 10 am. 

however, this never, ever happens. what happens come 7am? the snooze button. 

and then i get subpar sleep for the rest of the morning because i have been violently woken up by my alarm. 

so i figure after the first attempt, that i shouldn't even bother setting my alarm or doing that, because it just messes up my sleep and i'm not going to do it anyway! and then in a couple weeks i forget, and then try again, and then the circle goes round and round. it's never ending. 

however, this time, i'm going to do it.

i swear. you can hold me completely accountable. 100000%. 

i know what you're saying, "but kayla, you JUST said you've done it a thousand times before and it never works!"

but this time i have a plan, guys! c'mon. have a little faith in me. 

things have been really weird for me lately. i'm still suffering from sadness and depression, but in a different way. i am no longer laying in my bed crying all day (snaps for kayla), but instead i just feel lost. i feel like every day just doesn't have much of a purpose and i'm just kind of going through the motions waiting for my life to start. i depend on other people to help my life along, when i should know that i can do it all by myself. 

so i'm going to combat this sadness by doing something that is proven to help people feel better..... exercise! (and a kickass body to boot).

i'll be the first to admit that i was blessed with a small body and a moderately fast metabolism. thank goodness i do because boy if i didn't, i would probably be 700 pounds with the things i've been eating lately. i wouldn't say i'm an emotional eater though. i eat when i'm bored. but more on that later.

i'm going to make a whole post on my "plan" (air quotes because it hasn't been implemented yet), at a later date.

for now we're just going to see if i actually wake up early tomorrow and start my routine. however i will be cheating a tiny bit and setting the alarm for 830 instead of the optimal time of 7, because i'm still up late and need to swing my sleep clock. 

i did wake up at 7 today! *cheeeer!*, but that was because i had to for school :(

...and then i napped on the couch once i got home.

i feel like i only get up when i know i have to. otherwise i have no motivation?

do any of you feel that way? how do you motivate yourself to get up at ungodly hours? any words of wisdom for me?

fingers crossed tomorrow goes well so i can tell you guys about my absolute *genius* plan! ;)